Every step of the litigation process should be carefully thought out before proceeding.  The grounds could be an important negotiating tool in and of themselves.  Embarrassment can be a powerful factor in getting what you want.  The fear of family and friends finding out how you have conducted yourself behind closed doors can lead to anxiety.  The fear of exposing a third party can also be used to your advantage.  Demanding more than what you expect to be granted can also be important.  Remember that compromise is always expected.  So ask for more, and settle for what you really wanted in the first place.  Proper execution in planning all of this out will require the skill of an attorney who has had some experience in dealing with such issues.  Matrimonial litigants can represent themselves; but there is too much to lose to not consult with an attorney if you ask me.  As always, contact our office with any questions on how to go about planning your divorce at (516) 858-2620!